When we see someone we care about make bad decisions, we can either confront them about it or hope someone else does (or maybe just hope they stop doing it!). Many times we opt for the latter under the guise of being kind, not wanting to interfere, or waiting for them to ask for our input. But we should ask ourselves: are we really being kind, or are we letting fear, discomfort, or indifference be the boss of us?

Start Talking

  • How do you feel when you hear the word “confrontation”?
  • When have you seen a confrontation go well? When have you seen it go wrong?
  • Do you like confrontation or shy away from it?

What About You?

  • If you like confrontation, why is this?
  • For those of us that don’t like confrontation (probably more of us), which of these words describes why you are most typically averse to confronting someone?
  • Fear | Discomfort | Apprehension | Indifference

Look It Up

Read Matthew 18:6–17.

  • What stands out to you?
  • Verses 6–9, 10–14, and 15–17 have different imagery, but how are the three sections related or similar?
  • If you could summarize the point of each of these three sections in a separate sentence, what would your three sentences be? What if you had to summarize all three sections with just one sentence?

What Now?

  • As followers of Jesus, God’s overarching command for us is to treat others as our heavenly Father has treated us. How does confrontation play a part in following that command?
  • In what ways would you say God has “confronted you”?
  • What are some things you have learned about confronting someone “In love” versus doing it poorly?
  • As an adult, have you ever been confronted about something by someone who took a big risk bringing it to your attention? If so, how did it go? If not, would you be better off today if someone had?
  • Is there anyone in your life you feel like you need to confront about something? What will it take for you to do this?

Moving Forward

When God chases us down and changes us through another person (even though it’s not comfortable), we’re always grateful. Is there someone who needs you to move past fear, intimidation, or discomfort in order to help them change? You may be the person God uses to help them take a step. But even if your efforts don’t directly lead to change, you’ll have done for them what God has done for you.

  • Is there anyone in your life you feel like you need to confront about something? What will it take for you to do this?
  • Is there someone you need to thank for confronting you at any point in your life? Maybe you need to call, text, or write them a letter!

Consider listening to the song below this week as you are praying about confrontation:

There’s no shadow He won’t light up,
Mountain He won’t climb up.

Reckless Love
By Cody Asbury


Additional Resources

Four Steps to Consider in Confrontation (Article)
Don’t Hide from Confrontation by Joyce Meyer (Article)
Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Your Feelings So They Don’t Control You by Joyce Meyer (Book)
Enemies of the Heart by Andy Stanley (Book)
Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruits of the Spirit by Beth Moore (Bible Study Book)