To the Leader: This week concludes our series on the Fruit of the Spirit. We hope that it has been encouraging to you to focus on understanding what God can do in us and through us as we learn to submit to the Holy Spirit. Isn’t it good news that the Holy Spirit offers us help and an abundant life while we are here on Earth?

This week we are talking about the gift of self-control that the Holy Spirit offers us. While this might not sound exciting, it is good for us, and honestly, those around us!


Start Talking

  • Why would you say self-control is so unpopular? (Think college sorority student)
  • Do you agree with Josh that in order to demonstrate the other fruits of the Spirit we have discussed, one must first have self-control?
  • Tell us about a time that you have found yourself “doing something that you don’t want
    to/intended not to do.”

Think About It

  • We (YOU) really are the consistent ingredient to most of our bad decisions (relationships, financial, health). Generally, our bad decisions are connected to our lack of self-control. Where have you seen this to be true in your life?
  • If you are willing to share. What is an area of your life that you struggle to maintain self-control?
  • It could be said that weariness (which we talked about a few weeks ago) affects our self control. In fact, it is said that there are five main triggers to lack of self control:
    • Boredom
    • Hunger
    • Anger
    • Loneliness
    • Fatigue
  • Would you say that one of the things listed above is a self-control trigger for you? How
    can you avoid that trigger?

Look It Up

  • Read​ Romans 7:15-20​.
    • What stands out to you?
    • Who is Paul talking to and why?
    • What encourages you about what Paul is saying?
  • Read Romans 7:21-25.
    • Where does our lack of self-control come from?
    • Where does victory over lack of self-control come from?
    • Note: “​Self Control is not self made”​ – Josh Bayne
  • Christianity isn’t about saving ourselves. Thankfully, Christianity is about: ​I’ve reached the end of my rope, and I can’t save myself, but I met a Savior and His name is Jesus​.
  • Read ​John 3:17​. What do you learn about how Jesus thinks about you in this verse? Are His thoughts about you different from how you think about yourself?

What Now?

  • While we would all likely agree that the things listed below do not help us in our battle for self control, do you still find yourself trying to implement one of them as a solution to your self-control problem?
    • Rules
    • Shame
    • Guilt
    • New goals!
    • Trying harder
    • Telling yourself “Don’t”
  • In contrast to the list above, we know that God, through his Holy Spirit must do a work ​IN us, that our desires must change. Josh mentioned three things that we can do to position ourselves for this work of the Holy Spirit. Which of the three can you give attention to this week?
    • Changing your ​environment ​(Where is it that causes you to lose self-control?)
    • Changing your ​identity​ (​Ephesians 5:8​)
    • Changing your ​pursui​t (self control is the fruit of a greater pursuit–Jesus!) ​Psalm 119: 9-16
  • Remember how we started this series. There is freedom when we walk with the Holy Spirit! Read: ​Galatians 5:16-18

Additional Resources

Give Me Faith by Elevation Worship (Song)
Build My Life by Passion (Song)
The Utter Relief of Holiness by John Eldridge (Book)
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (Book)
Good Good Father by Housefires (Song)
The Blessing by Elevation Worship (Song)
The Joyful Christian by C.S. Lewis (Book)
Abiding in Christ by Andrew Murray (Book)
Where You Are by Leeland (Song)