We all have wants. Life can feel like a constant pursuit of those wants. We want to do what we want to. We want constant pleasure. And we want what we want now. But actually getting what we want can be tricky . . . and even dangerous. It usually leaves us wanting more. If what we want leads to a cycle of wanting more and more, maybe we want the wrong things. So, what do you want?

Start Talking

  • What would you say you wanted most in middle school and high school? Did you get it?
  • During the message, Andy asked the question, “What do you want?” What came to mind?
  • Do you agree with the idea that what most of us really want is constant pleasure? How would you say this idea contributes to regret? Have you ever wished  you could go back in time and NOT get what you thought you wanted?
    • Talk about a time when “doing what you wanted to do, left you somewhere you didn’t want to be” OR
    • Give an example of how “getting what you want now, might now give you what you want later”

Digging Deeper

  • Talk about a time when you had a seemingly innocent want give birth to a sin, habit, or regret.
  • Where are you potentially getting in your own way of getting what you really want?

Read This

Read James 4:1-3 (Written by Jesus’ Brother!)

  • What stands out to you?
  • Who is James talking to and why?
  • What do you think he is really trying to say to them?

Read James 4:1-12

  • How would “not getting what you want” impact you relationally?
  • Based on what you learn in these verses, HOW do we shift our attention from simply focusing on what we want (**Tip, look in your Bible and see if there is a chapter header. This may be a clue!)? What role does God play in this? (consider James 4: 6-12)
  • How is this idea more than “Putting others first”? How is focusing on what we value an act of worship?

What Now

Andy made this statement in his message: “You will never get what you really want, until you discover what you really value”. So, as you think about your life:

  • Have you ever pursued something you wanted that conflicted with something you valued?
  •  What do you really want? 
  • What do you value? 
  • Which is most important to you? Do the two lineup?
  • Are you CURRENTLY pursuing something you want that conflicts with something you value?

What practical steps do you need to take to focus on what you value over what you want? *Remember, any good fruit in our lives comes from God!

Remember This

“If we always get our way, we get in our way, and we lose our way” – Andy Stanley

Additional Resources

The Life You’ve Always Wanted by Joel Ortberg (Book)