There’s a question you can ask yourself that will bring inescapable clarity to just about every relational

decision you’ll bump up against. But a word of warning: it’s not for the faint of heart.


Discussion Questions

Start Talking

  • “You’ll always come out ahead by being honest with yourself.”
    • Why is it so hard to be honest with ourselves? What keeps you from being honest with yourself?
  • How can being honest with yourself help you be better in your relationships with others?
    • Share an example of a time when you were honest with yourself and how that impacted your relationship with someone else.

Read This

  • Read John 13:34–35 aloud. 
    • What key phrases stand out to you and why?
  • Read Matthew 22: 35-40 aloud. 
    • What were the two commands that Jesus gives in this passage?
    • How are they the same/different from the “new” command given in John 13:34-25?
  • In 1 Corinthians 13 (commonly called the Love Chapter), verse 5 says that Love does not dishonor others. 1 Corinthians 13:5
    • What are some ways that we dishonor others? In our words. In our actions. In our inaction.

What Now

  • What does love require of me? 
    • When you ask yourself that question, what relationship comes to mind? Why?
  • Share some examples of how you can put others in front of yourself.
    • In your marriage…
    • With your children…
    • At your job…
    • In your family…
    • In your neighborhood…

How can this group help?

When unsure of what to say or do, ask what love requires of you.

Series Review Questions

  • Am I being honest with myself, really? 
    • You’ll never get where you want to be until you’re honest about where you currently are.
    • Is there a specific decision or an area of your life that you’ve justified your way into? If so, what is it?
  • What story do I want to tell? 
    • Every decision you make is part of your story, so make it a story you are proud to tell. 
    • Is there a chapter that it’s time to close? Is there a new one that needs to begin?
  • Is there a tension that deserves my attention? 
    • Sometimes things look good on paper, but you know internally that there’s a reason to pause and take a second look. 
    • What’s a time you’re glad you hesitated? 
    • When did not paying attention to the tension cost you?
  • What is the wise thing for me to do? 
    • A decision can be “not wrong” and “not wise” at the same time. So in light of your past experience, your current circumstances, and your future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for you to do? 
    • In what situation do you need to be asking yourself that now?

Additional Resources

Bible Reading Plan 

Scripture: Proverbs 27:12

Song: “Graves Into Gardens” by Brandon Lake, Chris Brown, Steven Furtick, and Tiffany Hammer